I was just thumbing my way through a terrible website that was telling me all kinds of ways to be successful in the office, get promoted, make my boss happy, find good hires, and generally be a corporate pill. Why? Cause sometimes I follow a link and then just can’t stop myself. It offered suggestions like “To get on your boss’s good side, alway say “Good Morning!” even if you are hung over (clearly written by a party MONSTER).” So, anyway, there in the middle of the bad web site, is a picture of one of my buddies, who is about as corporate as Barney Fife, giving the “chacka brau” sign at some bar. The article is about something lame and I am sure the picture is meant to feature the other folks in it. SOMEONE had to say “of course you can use the photo.”

What is my point? I am sure it has been made before: When you are OUT and ABOUT you can almost guarantee there is bound to be some tool with some kind of camera snapping away. If you don’t care then, continue on with your Barfly existence and enjoy the day you end up in Vice’s “Don’t” section. We see celebs busted by this all the time and even though celebs are super brilliant and are supposed to teach us everything about life, sometimes we don’t learn. When my dad’s bowling team was drunkenly drinking beer out of someone else’s bowling shoes and flipping the bird, cameras had to be folded out of large boxes and a flash preparation had to be made before anyone was saying “Cheese”. Now you press a button on your phone and the image lasts forever and can get passed as easily as gas. The stinky upset stomach kind.

So, just be smart. And also, do as you want done to yourself. Maybe the bum who is asleep in his own pee pee is funny but maybe the picture of you angrily screaming at the valet and looking like “King Choad” isn’t as funny as the one with the bum. I really like that my phone has a crappy little camera on it. I sometimes take pictures of a field of flowers or a cool low-rider car (empty!) but, like a loaded pistol, when I am out at night, it usually doesn’t get flashed around…. usually.

So, there is a new Knife in town. It is called the Infidel 3300 and is made by one of the top knife manufacturers in the USA, Benchmade. It is in fact a re-working of the one time Italian import knife that became so famous for surprise neck ties, the Stiletto. This thing is TOTALLY bad. I held it in my hand and it felt like something out of Star Wars. It was so solid and balanced and the mechanics were so smooth and reliable feeling…. it could be the current day light saber. Except of course, you can’t just go out and git one fer ol’ Cooter down at the track.

These are strictly for law/enforcement/military types and the $450.00 price tag screams: “Bill the taxpayers for my killing thing!” But really, it has been a long time since I have seen a weapon that is art. This thing would sit on your hand like a platinum 3 finger ring that no one would see until it was too late. And then, maybe at that last second, they would smile as they saw it and ask “where’d you get that ughhhhh…..?” These guys at Benchmade must have been on a mission to make something that had classic functionality mixed with modern materials, locking systems and style.

I am rarely impressed with this type of gadget but, this one really is something to check out. If you ever get a chance to try one, do it. I don’t mean try one ON someone I mean just flick that blade in and out. Hold it in your hand. Think back on the switchblade comb you had as a kid and ask yourself “Maybe a couple years in The Service woulda done me better than 18 months at that juice bar.”

http://www.benchmade.com/products/product_detail.aspx?model=3300