Does Oprah Actually Know Something I Don’t?

OK, so, I gotta reel it in. No more stopping by the Carl’s right when I get off the freeway at 1am to “take care of business”. I can’t wake up in shame to the wrappers on the floor and the knot in the gut.

I mean, maybe if I was riding the range with Tom Selleck and shootin’ up Tin Horns and wrastlin beeves to the ground on a daily basis I could go a little higher on the calorie/protein index. But, I am not. I would like to say my workouts put Bruce Lee to shame but, Bruce Lee would just be ashamed to see me in his yellow track suit. Looking like Bumble Bee Man from the Simpson’s (Aye! Tengo una Cabeza Grande!).

There IS something else to do and I learned about it on Oprah’s web site. It is called Calorie Restriction. Basically you tease your boddy by giving it 80% of what it needs daily. Then your body tries to give you the finger by re-adjusting to really take that 80% and do just fine with it. So obviously, you need to eat like a goddamn goat all day long but, the end result is not only a leaner, more self rightous but, they say this formula could add a dramatic amount of time to your life.

So, if you want to live to an even older, crankier, more decrepit age where you look like the Preacher from Poltergiest 2 on his worst day, This may be the plan of attack for you. For me? I don’t care about the living longer part, I just want to be healthier while I am alive, even if only but for a moment. Also, I would like to take a crap sometimes. This would help with that too. Check the video, here, there MAY be something to this and I will update you on my own progress toward being slimline Jaba the Hut!

http://www.oprah.com/media/20090305b_tows_calorie-restriction-video