SQUEEEEEEEL like a PIG!

So, how come no good jokes yet about this swine flu thing? Is it “too soon”? I mean, it has all the makings: Pig based flu from Mexico that people in Scotland have? Come on….. Everyone is so serious about it. But if you look past the deaths, I am sure you will crack a secret smile when someone comes up with a real zinger.

The surgical masks are the thing I like the most. Not only does it make me feel like I am surrounded by doctors who can take care of me if I come down with anything that doesn’t require mouth to mouth (makeoutitis?) but also, those things are designed to keep the wearer from infecting the patient. I mean, when you breath in wearing it, the air comes from around the side of the mask! So, thanks for wearing one of those…IF you are all SWINED UP!

And then they are concerned in Mexico it is going to eat into the tourist trade? Does anyone there read their own paper? I think all the heads in the ice chests are doing a fine job of that without a little flu. I mean, people have been going to Mexico with the FULL knowledge that one drop of water can have you filling the bed with your own excrement for days. A little Swine Flu isn’t gonna stop the average American drunk from getting his $2.00 margs and free buffet! In fact, maybe NOW is the time to GO. You ever tried to get a cab at the airport in Cabo before the weekend? If they offered a 2 nights for the price of one deal I would say “SWINE ME UP!”

HALF COURT SHOT?

HALF COURT SHOT?

Are the days of the food courts and all of their glory over with? Am I just figuring this out and you have known since Hot Dog on a Stick started hiring male employees?  I believe that every “stall” at that particular “court” near my old hood has changed since I had last been there and only two of them seemed to be chain establishments. One was Fat Burger so, you knew what you were getting there. Another was “Tacone” or whatever where they try to sell you food in a wrap and somehow… I don’t know, hypnotize you into thinking something cooler is going on? Of course there was a local Italian one, a Chinese one, Mexican….I would like to say on and on but that’s about it.

There seemed to be little business going on for a weekend afternoon and the most popular spot was the “Gellato” place with the fancy ice cream. It seems like that when the food court first came into fashion at the more…. opulent malls in the area, they were so popular because of the variety of foods offered and the chance to eat with 4,000 other people in an airplane hangar environment. I remember the food choices evolved into a little more wacky variety like more snacks, less meals and then, as people’s tastes changed about JUST WHERE they would eat, the death nell for a food court was stalls that were closed. So depressing. Almost like Logan’s Run when they are between their original underground world and the one above that used to be ours.

So, now, it is like a new generation of food court where they offer big-name places, chinese food that looks better than the gelatinous horror that used to lie before you when making the big decision. A lot fewer pretzel sandwiches and blue candy spaghetti too. In fact, it almost looked like some of the food was healthy?!?!?!?!?! I will keep you up to date on my research regarding this. Someone needs to be looking out for us.